-Okay, so basically there’s this guy in my school and he’s done some pretty fucked up stuff, he was raised in a bad environment and even got pressured into doing illegal things by his own parents. His life is a mess. And he’s not even doing anything to change it now.

But, this time last year, he was the type to hold my hand in lessons, tell me how much he likes me and even sing to me lool, but I would just ignore him because I was so caught up in other guys. He would even tell me about his personal life and how tough it is. He made effort and told me things, he never shared with other girls. But I didn’t care for him. I thought he was nothing but a waste of space. I didn’t really see anything for him. 

I was so wrong. 

Now I think he just grew tired of trying to get my attention, but now his attention is all I want. It’s ironic isn’t it? I wish I could rewind to the time when he still had feelings for me. But now, he’s gone even worse. He’s a total different person and a troublemaker. 

To be honest with you, I don’t even know why I have feelings for this guy now. We’re 2 TOTALLY different people. I’m the type to concentrate in my education&have my future planned out, when he’s the type to skip school&get high. We barely even talk now, last time we did, he compared me with his Mum and said that even though his parents are so different, their relationship still works. 

I guess we both have love for each other > his words, lol. 

I think he’s just so caught up in his life now, but when he thinks about the future, that’s when I come up in his mind. To be honest, I don’t really care about his past or how fucked up his life is now, I’ll be right here for him when everyone leaves. Idk why, but I see the good in him and I know he has soo much potential than what he shows. I just wish I have the chance to get to know him now, but I’m too scared to… Or even go back to how it was this time last year. 

I still got mad love for this guy, I just wish I had the courage to start talking to him now and eventually tell him.